I am quite tired of seeing these two – whatever they are calling themselves – the Royal Formerly Known as Prince? the Fresh Princess of Montecito? – in the news, especially her.

The constant harping on their vacuous, shallow self-victimisation is so annoying, but for Meghan to make the claim “that a cast member from South Africa [an actor in The Lion King] pulled her aside to tell her … ‘I just need you to know: When you married into this family, we rejoiced in the streets the same as we did when Mandela was freed from prison’ ” [The Cut: Meghan of Montecito, by Allison P. Davis https://www.thecut.com/article/meghan-markle-profile-interview.html ] is ridiculous. In fact, Mandela’s own son has come forward to deny that Meghan’s claim is true.

They’ve been living and working (do they work? I’m not sure what they do.) in the U.S. for longer than they lived in the U.K. as working royals, but they Just Can’t Stop Complaining about how awful it was and how much damage they suffered.

Or maybe that’s the point.

If the griping and whinging stops, people might forget about them and they might face … yikes! … anonymity. But isn’t that what they wanted? No, wait, maybe what they’re really concerned about is irrelevancy. So I guess the plan is to constantly remind everyone of how hard it was, how bad it was, how tooth-grindingly nasty it was to work as a member of the royal family, with ever more tales and howls of woe, racism, and bullying. Wait! Wasn’t it Meghan doing the bullying? Oy. This is giving me a headache.

Next up will be Harry’s book. I understand that it’s going to be a real doorstopper … er … showstopper. No doubt full of breath-taking and tear-jerking accounts of his life of deprivation and want. Maybe Meghan will interview him for her podcast series so that they can do some more public communing about extremely personal details in order to further finance their life of privileged “total privacy.”

Why should anyone listen to anything either of them have to say? Take away the royal fripperies and what are they? He’s a former second-rate prince who served in the military. Many, many of us have done that. (Not the prince part. The military part. 😉)

She’s a second-rate actress who, while she no doubt worked hard, got paid to pretend to be someone else. Most of us work pretty hard, and frankly, at jobs that are a lot more important – especially those of us who were uncomplainingly run ragged through a pandemic.

Why are they in a position to hold forth on anything? The fact is, they aren’t. Who cares what Meghan thinks about women’s issues or parenting? Her opinion is not worth any more or any less than anyone else’s, and given that she’s not really accomplished anything extraordinary, (is marrying a famous person extraordinary?) why should anyone listen?

Harry thinks his family is dysfunctional and that they all need to be freed from their royal shackles. Oh boy, where should I start? Ahem, Harry? We knew that about your family long ago. But you know what? It’s their choice, not yours. You made your decision, now stop complaining about theirs.

I really felt sorry for Harry and William when they lost their mom. It was heartbreaking and terrible watching those poor kids walk behind their mother’s coffin. But many, many kids have lost a parent, or both parents, or live in tragic, dire circumstances.

Eventually, excusing Harry’s behaviour because his mom died when he was young becomes an excuse in itself. Amidst the trappings of the Sussexes’ luxurious lifestyle – a conspicuously direct result of their royal family antecedents – their constant carping is wearing thin and is beginning to sound more and more angry and vengeful. It seems that they want the public to side with them against the nasties across the pond. In doing so, they are invading their own privacy (isn’t privacy largely the reason they quit?) and showing themselves as selfish and self-absorbed.

So, Harry and Meghan, listen up. Stop using your connection to the royals to make money off them while you complain about them at the same time. Stop giving people advice. You don’t know any better than most of us and a lot less than many of us. Stop yipping about privacy as you constantly stick yourselves in front of the cameras and microphones and then whine for the British taxpayer and/or UK police to provide a protection detail. In fact, just stop. Go live the ordinary life you said you wanted. At the very least, give it a good try. Most of us like it. We like it very much.