Category Archives: Milestones

Lest We Forget

In Canada, today is Remembrance Day. The tradition is to wear a poppy pin in recognition of our war dead and to stop at 11:00 a.m. to reflect upon their sacrifices, often through a non-denominational and non-religious service at the community war memorial.

The poppy symbol found its origin in a poem – In Flanders Fields – written by John McCrae, a Canadian doctor who died during World War I. His memorial poem reflects on the huge numbers of dead and on the poppies that grew where they were buried.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier in Ottawa

Since WW I, the poppy has become a symbol of remembrance not just for Canada, but for the war dead of a number of countries, including the UK.

Usually, a projection of falling poppies representing our fallen soldiers is displayed on the Parliament buildings in Ottawa. Except for the striking of the clock, it’s a silent, solemn memorial with each falling poppy representing a Canadian soldier who has died in battle.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYYEWbiXDuM

I hope that some day, we will have peace, and we will learn how not to add any more falling, blood-red flowers.

Voting Time Is upon Us

After three months of federal government upheaval, a Liberal party leadership race and then a whirlwind federal election campaign, it’s finally time to vote. It’s our duty to ourselves, our families and friends and last but not least, to our country to do so. Every vote is important.

Photo courtesy of Elections Canada

Plan your day to ensure that you can get to your polling station; they will be open for 12 hours and your employer is required by law to allow you time to leave work for the purposes of voting. If you don’t have your registration card, be sure to bring along two pieces of identification that show your address. All Canadians 18 years and older may vote.

Photo courtesy of Elections Canada

If you are disabled, please click this link for further information on polling station accessibility: https://www.elections.ca/content2.aspx?section=acc&document=index&lang=e

Happy Voting Day!

When a Former Spouse Passes Away

Two years ago, I learned that a former spouse had passed away. He’s the subject of most of the early posts on this blog as I worked through my very short, very difficult marriage to him. By any definition, he was a full narcissist and therefore a problematic person with whom to try to have a relationship.

I was surprised to hear from his daughter who let me know about it; she didn’t provide any additional details. It was very kind of her to do that as I know that she had had very significant issues with him as well and had stopped communicating with him just after I initiated divorce proceedings.

Learning that he’s gone produced a bit of a reaction – it has taken me two years to write about it – with some feelings anticipated (relief, solace), and others not (anger, guilt). His departure has meant that I no longer need to worry about how he sometimes tried to track me down online, at work or through my family or friends, even many years after our divorce.

I suddenly began to feel a lot more secure. But then there was the guilt around being relieved at another’s passing as well as a real freshening of the anger I felt at the stalking and the need for additional safety precautions as well as for what he did to my finances and the time it took me to recoup.

This experience as well as my experience as a combat veteran has lead me to conclude that often, the fallout from traumatic or extremely difficult experiences doesn’t go away completely. These experiences lessen, they lighten. I can forget about them for long periods. The anger drops off. Even the details can become hazy. But disappear entirely? Nope.

There was the death of the marriage; in this case, it was stillborn even though it took me several months to put all the signs together. Then there’s the death of the former spouse, with its odd sense of unclosure closure. It’s a very mixed bag. Because regardless of what the experts say, some things just don’t fold neatly into a drawer that can be closed and locked forever. They grow smaller and smaller all the time, but you can still see their smoke on the horizon, no matter how far away you are.

New Year’s Eve 2024

Many thanks to all who have followed, liked or commented over the past year; you have been very much appreciated. I’ve enjoyed our comment-chats, your travels, your gardens, your walks and hikes, your photography, your musings and your thinkings. As the years pile up on this blog, it’s been, and continues to be, a wonderful experience to connect with so many different people from all over the world.

The sun sets on one year …

… and we welcome another.

Happy 2025!

Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of the day we met, which is the one we celebrate rather than our wedding. We were married in Banff on a beautifully sunny August day, but it was mostly a formality …

Canmore’s Three Sisters Mountains; from an April, 2024 visit to Banff and Canmore.

… as we had long since decided that we wanted to be together.

A recent cloud break over Okanagan Lake.

And so the day that we met became the important one. We’re going to Kelowna for a meal in a good restaurant with an overnight stay included – so that we can enjoy a good bottle of wine without concern – ahead of the new year celebrations.

Happy Monday.

In Remembrance of D-Day

This post was first published in 2013; here it is again, 11 years later, in honour of the 80th anniversary of D-Day.

Canadian military during World War II D-Day Landings on Juno Beach (Photo credit: Globe and Mail).

The 69th anniversary of D-Day was on June 6th, last Thursday. Like so many, many others, my dad was one of those involved.  He wound up going all the way to Hamburg, Germany, before “his war” was over and he was permanently sent back to England to my anxious mother, herself a member of the British army.

World War II and my parents’ participation in it shaped their lives; they and their cohort were subsequently referred to as the “Greatest Generation.”

How could it not shape their lives?

It has shaped ours, too; it’s just that we don’t register it much or perhaps give it as much prominence as it should probably have.

We lap up the sacrifice of our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents without understanding where it came from or even being aware that that’s what we are doing.

As my dad became older he often reminisced about his and my mother’s lives during the war. He talked about the time that they raced into an underground station in London seconds ahead of a bomb that tumbled down the steps behind them, following them.

They made it to relative safety before the bomb exploded; others did not.

My dad was also evacuated from Dunkirk.

The Dunkirk evacuation, the D-Day Landings and the Normandie invasion were, however, not something that my dad discussed until he was in his seventies. For him, outrunning a bomb was a story he could tell, but Normandie and Dunkirk? And later on, a concentration camp: the scope was too big; its effects were too broad. Compared to that, his personal experiences of it were tiny.

Photo courtesy of the Globe and Mail.

How do you get your mind around it?

The World War II veterans did not talk much about what they had endured. They just wanted to get back to their lives and enjoy the peace. But I also think that they may have had difficulty trying to communicate how massive this all was. The numbers of people, the equipment, the exhaustion, the death, the destruction, the genocidal madness.  For the sake of one’s sanity, it has to move to the personal. This became obvious to me when I realised how difficult it was for my dad to return to England. My mother visited her homeland frequently, but my dad waited 30 years before returning.


Photo courtesy of the Globe and Mail.

No one person could tell it. Better to go home to try to forget.

They had earned the right to either talk about it or not, remember or not.

We children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren don’t have that choice, however. We have an obligation to remember.

We owe them a debt of gratitude that can only be re-paid by protecting and respecting what they won for us – our very selves, our freedoms, our many luxuries.

My dad is long gone now, as are most of the WW II veterans, but we can think about what they did for us.

2023 Retrospective

Here are some of my favourite photos, by month, from 2023. It was a good year!

January

Rocky Mountains, British Columbia

February

Aurora Borealis, Northwest Territories

March

My “snow house” in Northwest Territories.

April

Rocky Mountains, Alberta

May

Azaleas, Penticton, British Columbia

June

Okanagan Valley butterfly visitor.

July

Canada Day.

August

Pond lily.

September

Ice cream rose.

October

Sugar maples (and retirement!).

November

Full moon palm tree.

December

Caribbean sunset.

I hope your 2023 was a good year for you and that you’re looking forward to 2024. 💥

What a Difference a Year Makes!

I was recently thinking about where I was this time last year, both literally and figuratively.

November 7, 2022, Northwest Territories. A relatively small snowfall covering my truck.
November 28, 2022, Northwest Territories. The eaves of my house over the living room windows.

2023

I didn’t have a November 7 picture from this year, so here is November 9, 2023, Penticton, British Columbia.
November 28, 2023, Dominicana. Sand, but no snow!

I loved working in the Northwest Territories, but I am happy to be where I am now – a lot warmer, whether that’s Dominicana or Penticton.