Category Archives: Photography

A Little Laugh Turneth Away Wrath, Commentary, musings, Photography

The Big Chilly

Feb 12, 2019 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 26 Comments

Right now I am living deep inside a real big chilly. It’s something like -42 C or whatever. When it’s that cold, does it matter any more? I don’t even check. It’s -40, yada yada.

Up until recently, it’s been fairly easy to live with.

But … there’s always something.

First, my truck wouldn’t start. It was plugged in, but despite heat shots and trickle chargers and a couple of boosts, it protested and said no, I’m not starting. Now leave me alone or put me in a warm garage!

There I was, my whatis sticking up in the wind chill factor while I fussed over an exposed engine, checking oil and fumbling around trying to determine if the the block heater was still working as I invented a totally new dialect composed entirely of vulgarities.

Then my bathtub drain froze.

Yup. My bathtub drain.

I was standing in the tub shower, soaping up and enjoying the warmth when I realised that the water was up to my ankles. It wasn’t a clog, because the day before, the water was draining normally.

But now? There’s no movement at all, not even a trickle.

I have a bathtub full of used water and an open drain. It just sits there, staring stupidly at me while I think about flamethrowers and other incendiary devices.

Then my house door wouldn’t lock. It was too cold for the tumblers to engage. I almost got down on my knees and begged. Really? You aren’t going to lock? Just hang on a sec, I have to go throw a minor tantrum. Waaahh! 🤣

And let’s not forget the head cold. Its onset blended seamlessly with the arrival of several days of major meetings that I had to attend, a tissue box under one arm and a Vicks inhaler lodged, unnoticed, in a nostril.

Of course, all of this happened while my M is away. (Is there a message in that?)

But, an update.

It got warmer. Right now, it’s about -12 C.

I got my truck towed. It got its wish and is in warm garage awaiting a new block heater.

I awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of my bathtub draining. It turns out that all I had to do was wait. Scared the crap out of me though – there I was, creeping into the bathroom with my phone in one hand and a fly swatter in the other. If it had been an intruder, what was I going to do with the fly swatter??? (Oh look, there’s a mutant mosquito in the bathroom – hand me the swatter please.)

I got my hair dryer, pointed it at my door lock and warmed up all the parts.

That worked.

My cold is almost gone. So is a lot of the other cold.

Things are looking up, especially the temperature. (Okay, I’ll stop with the cheesy comments.)

So how has this “polar vortex” (doesn’t that sound like the name of a disaster movie? Polar Vortex, starring Jennifer Aniston and Tom Cruise. Watch if you dare. Because you may never go outside again. 《Sound of loud chattering teeth.》) been treating you??? Among other places, it has hit the west coast of the continent pretty hard.

Commentary, musings, Photography

Cold Weather

Jan 17, 2019 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 42 Comments

This is what -36°C looks like …

… at the southern end of Great Slave Lake in Northwest Territories. In Fahrenheit, that’s -33.

Very sharp and sunny, but my, is it chilly!

Somehow, the air looks cold.

I usually walk to work, but today I needed to take my vehicle; it was slow to start even though it had been plugged in.

I let it run, but the doors protested at being opened (skreeeech) and the tires felt square as I pressed the gas and started moving forward (they had frozen a bit).

I feel like that too when I have to do something I don’t want to do. I’m slow to start and I don’t want to move. My tires are frozen.

Sometimes, you’re just cold and need to get going.

Sometimes, you need to listen to your warmer, more blanket-buried self.

Commentary, musings, Photography

Flying Anyone?

Jan 8, 2019 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 33 Comments

I found this airplane stuck to a pole …

It’s one of the types I learned to fly, back when I was in my salad days.

It made me a bit sad to see it there, poised as if in flight but stuck, permanently roosted and rooted to the ground, a facsimile of its former self. Not a good place for an airplane to be.

People can be stuck too. They look like they’re going somewhere but they’re not. Straining forward but frozen, seeing but sightless.

Airplanes are meant to fly.

So are we all.

Happy New Year, everyone. Good wishes for 2019. 🙂

Commentary, musings, Photography

A Short Pause

Nov 30, 2018 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 35 Comments

I am taking the pause that refreshes.

After being promoted to a new job that is testing any and all abilities that I might or might not have, I have to take a break.

A summer photo from the Okanagan in British Columbia.

I will be dropping in from time to time to read some blogs, but I won’t be posting for a bit. 🙂

musings, Photography

A Picture (or Two)

Nov 8, 2018 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 8 Comments

I missed Wordless Wednesday but here’s a picture for Thursday …

of a sunny Okanagan day in July.

And another …

of the snowboarding venue for the Arctic Winter Games for 2018. We are starting to collect a lot of snow.

Greetings and happy November from the Northwest Territories. 🙂

Photography, Reblogs

Rebel Coffee Cake/Blogger Awards Nominations

Nov 5, 2018 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 6 Comments

I have been nominated for a blogging award. 🙂

I’m not going to do the award requirements but I do want to pass on the names of the nominator and the other nominees.

In particular, please take a look around Cecilia Kennedy’s Fixin’ Leaks and Leeks blog. Lots of good recipes and tips. Many thanks for the nomination, Cecilia. Much appreciated.

https://wp.me/p8ngk4-pL

And, enjoy a photo of Yellowknife’s Back Bay on Great Slave Lake.

Happy Monday after the clocks have fallen back.

Commentary, Photography

Crossing the Mighty Mackenzie River

Oct 30, 2018 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 17 Comments

The Mackenzie River is the largest river system in Canada and the second largest in North America.

It is so big that in places it looks like an ocean or huge lake. It even has a vanishing point.

Driving across the bridge that spans the Mackenzie going south from Yellowknife doesn’t capture that effect. However, this photo from July almost does. Not quite.

Aren’t these blues amazing?

Greetings from the fabulous lakes and waterways of the Northwest Territories.

Narcissism - One Woman's True Story of Marriage to a Narcissist, Photography

Mourning the Loss of a Narcissist

Oct 23, 2018 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 27 Comments

There are many types of losses, most of which are natural and normal, even if they hurt like hell. Most of us will experience the loss of parents and grandparents, the loss of a relationship or two, the loss of a friendship. Some losses are much worse than others; the loss of a child, for instance.

Even under the best of circumstances, loss carries a huge emotional load, but when you’re dealing with the loss of a narcissist, there are whole other dimensions to consider.

It’s not just the actual physical loss: the loss of the person, the loss of that relationship, the loss of that duo-dom.

It’s the loss of much of yourself.

You’re stuck in mud, your feet becoming larger and larger as the mud adheres to your shoes and tries to hold you tightly.

You’re not just hurting from the loss of the relationship, you’re hurting from the loss of yourself: your self-confidence, your judgement, your logic.

Breakups are painful, but when the breakup involves a narcissist, there is so much more to navigate. Narcissists are litigious and aggressive, so a good lawyer (read expensive) might be required. In my case, the ex-N became threatening and I had to go to the police. I had to change my door locks, install an alarm system and hire a security company.

In the meantime, he was hammering away with every type of hoover he could think of.

At the time I didn’t know that that behaviour had a name and I didn’t know about no contact. I just wanted to get his stuff out of my house.

The simple fact is that you might not even realise until much later what you have been involved with, and until that becomes clear, the mud will stick to your shoes in a big way.

When I got my ex-N out of my life, I wasn’t very knowledgeable about narcissism, but I knew that he had to go and I had to get help.

I was fortunate on several levels: there were no children, I had financial stability (my ex-N put a huge dent in that but I was essentially okay), and I had a good supplementary heath plan and could afford counselling.

The counselling portion of my quest to reclaim my life was very important because I wasn’t just mourning the loss of a relationship; I had to come to terms with the underlying reasons for my involvement with the narcissist.

That was hard – very hard. It required me to look at myself in ways that were uncomfortable and difficult.

I had to get to know myself better. And getting to know myself was paramount because it is my best defense against further involvement with another N.

In the meantime, my sense of self, my judgement and confidence were all on life support and I had no trust in them at all.

I had to rebuild, and the structure that came out is nothing that I expected. I like it though. It’s a good structure, even if it’s not pretty.

Most of all, I had to let myself grieve: I had to recognise the guilt and stupidity I felt about myself, forgive myself for that part of my humanity, and allow myself some relief from the self-criticism.

With help, I let myself off the hook and began to learn what I need to learn from this experience.

What are your thoughts about mourning?

Commentary, Photography

More Yellowknife

Oct 16, 2018 Lynette d'Arty-Cross 15 Comments

This photo shows a recent overcast day at a small lake just outside of Yellowknife. To me, the landscape is iconically northern-looking with much evidence of the Canadian Shield covered by short trees. Clear ice is also forming on this pond. Probably enough to walk on, but I wouldn’t take the chance yet.