Since reaching my sixties, I’ve noticed that decidedly nonchalant, seemingly socially accepted forms of ageism are leaking out in all directions from some of the younger amongst us and particularly against me or anyone else who shares my age-region. To say the least, it’s incredibly annoying.
For instance, why is it that I’ve suddenly become “dear” – and intoned in such a way as to communicate that the speaker sees me as mentally deficient – to anyone under 50? I don’t know you, I’m not your granny or auntie or even a neighbour. But in any case it’s not just about knowing me; it’s about implying that I’m a sort of child-senior who deserves condescending endearments from total strangers.
Another thing is the amazement I sometimes hear about my ability to use technology. Comments such as “how great that you know how to do that,” it’s nice that you’re not afraid of technology” or this zinger: “you’re doing so well for your age.” Ugh. Here’s the reality: I’ve been using computers for 40 years and have had a smartphone since you were in kindergarten. I’m no stranger to computers, the internet, apps, digital wallets and streaming. My generation invented this stuff!
Just because my hair is grey doesn’t mean that a) I’m hard of hearing or b) half-blind. Neither has intimacy gone the way of the do-do bird.
I am not “cute.” Puppies and kittens are cute. I left cute behind many moons ago.
And another thing, we Gen-Xers and Boomers didn’t have it easier when we were 20-and-30-somethings: 20% interest rates on loans, the cold war, unemployment, stagnant wages, gas shortages, a couple of shorter recessions in the 70s followed by a real humdinger in the 80s. Buy a house? The closest I could have gotten to it would have been a dollhouse.
No, I don’t have dementia. Yes, my systems are ageing. Nothing works as well as it used to but I’m not a doddering old codger … er, codgerette. I’m a lot like the 18-year-old, manual Ford that’s parked in my garage. It has been and continues to be a great car and as time goes along, it needs more maintenance and even some fixing. But care will extend its useful life, just as it will for many of us.
I’ve dealt with discrimination from time to time, especially when I was younger. As I was coming of age, behaviours were easing up a little but it still wasn’t easy being female. Or being French, female, and pursuing a “non-traditional” career. And now this old age thing? It only feels like yesterday that the agism came from the other end of the spectrum. Yikes.
In the Net! - Pictures and Stories of Life 
Some lovely pics here, Lynette.
Things must be slightly different where you live. Here in this rural village I’m never made conscious of my age (I’m 77), other than the occasional surprise from people who don’t know me and seem to admire the ability of my wife and I to walk at least 3 miles most days! But that seems to be more to do with a lack of activity from those people than anything to do with age.
But I’d certainly be as irritated by those remarks and attitudes you encounter! As you say, our generation invented these things – the only exception for me is the overly-complex mobile phone; I find it unnecessarily intrusive in its behaviour and insistence on trying to either sell me things or instal programs I don’t want!
LikeLike
Ageism is indeed a reality for us who have just entered our 60’s. However, I remember it existing when I was young as well. I got a break today when I ordered a beer and the waitress asked for my ID. We’ve been spending a week with our first grandchild (4 months) so maybe we are looking younger now. Anyway, your photos are amazing as usual.
LikeLike
Lynette, I’m enjoying your beautiful photos interspersed between your eloquent essay. The first time I experienced ageism was at the doctors, when I was 28! 😀 The infamous words of ‘at my age’ was uttered for the first time by him as he examined my painful shoulder! Still in my 50s I haven’t had experience in society of ageism – as yet – but it must be galling. Oh, how true, we invented the computers, mobile phones … it shouldn’t be a surprise people of all ages know how to use these devices.
LikeLike
Oh Lynette, I could have written this! I haven’t personally been affected by ageism, but it does appear from what I read that people my age (I’m 72) had it so good. I didn’t buy my first house until my forties and the interest on the mortgage was 15%.
One nice thing about living in Cornwall is that people don’t say dear, they say lovely!
LikeLike
I’m 69 this year and my hips don’t want to play any more. I have to say that things like arthritis (old person’s word!) and cataracts (another one) make this still-18-in-the-head person far more frustrated than anything some young ignoramus says does 😂
LikeLike
I found myself thinking ‘yes and’ when I I read your comment. Except I’m a few years behind you, it’s my shoulder, and my in-my-head age is 25!
LikeLike
Oh that’s awful Lynette. At a few months shy of 60, I haven’t experienced any of that, maybe because I still colour my hair 😊, or maybe because we are still passing the Gen Zs on the hiking trails. Maggie
LikeLike
Lynette, there’s so much that is challenging to deal with for every generation. I think the difference is now, the Gen X or Gen Z or whatever they are calling themselves don’t want know how anyone else had to deal with hardship. They also have ways they communicate through social media (Reddit & TikTok) that has changed the way they see themselves in the world, whereas we were more isolated. At least that’s my opinion.
Great post today!!!
LikeLike
I love this post Lynette and I share your frustrations with the younger set and particularly their disdain for all the Boomers who stole “their” jobs. We started with nothing, worked long and hard to get where we are. In fact you and so many other women paved the way for “their” success. When will people of all ages stop applying the Us and Them approach and just respect all people for who they are and what they can do? I recall about a year ago, walking by a group of teenage schoolgirls, who remarked ,while Patty and I were within earshot…Aren’t they just so cute. We smiled and replied to ourselves…Damn straight, we are cute. The ultimate compliment came from a nephew who on seeing us for the first time in 5 years remarked, “At least you are still mobile” Happy Friday my remarkedly talented and experienced friend. Allan
LikeLike
It’s too bad you’ve experienced that level of ageism, Lynette. Some of those comments are downright rude! Particularly considering, as you pointed out, all the technological advancements our generation invented. Like you, I hate it when people describe me or my actions as “ cute” or “sweet”. Like you said, those adjectives are for babies, human or animal, not grown women. Now that I’m closer to 70 than 60, I have noticed a difference in the treatment I receive, like doctors pointing out that a condition is common at “my age”. What can we say when we experience this, particularly in the service industry? A snappy comeback would be helpful, and fun!
LikeLike
Oh, and beautiful photos, btw.
LikeLike
YESSSSS! YOU tell’em!
LikeLike