You were going. Creeping through the night.
Airports.
Bus terminals.
With the heavy smell that you carried – of need. Of want.
To be somewhere else. Anywhere else.
With many, many others. Swallowing hugely
of everything.
And not knowing.
I leave you, you said. I think. I feel. You say nothing.
Except
Sit there with your tea staining your life. Trying to stain mine.
You went. She stayed.
You were better. Stronger. Growing.
Still, she stayed.
I touch you, she said. My darling. My one.
That is what I am. That is how I show.
Why, you said. Why? Irritated. There’s more. There’s other. So much other.
I touch you, she said. My darling. My one.
That is what I am. That is how I show.
Be some other way, you said. Be more.
I touch you, she said. My
I know, you thought.
Knowing.
This is for my special friend C, who has just lost her mom. I love you, C.