Today I am very honoured to be a guest of Jill Weatherholt’s for her Summer Spotlight series. Jill is a kind, thoughtful blogger and writer (published!) whom I have followed since I became a blogger myself.
Join me at Jill’s place, meet some new bloggers and have a little browse around. 🙂
Happy New Year! 🙂 I hope 2017 is off to a good start for you!
To begin the year with the right winter flavour (Yup. I know. Some of you are in much warmer climes, and yes, I’m jealous), here’s a seasonal winter picture that I took in my former hometown:
Since becoming a pilot many years ago, I have (obviously) had a big interest in weather and have developed a serious appreciation for its nuances. In this picture, I love the muted, gauzy, exaggerated light of the sun trying to break through a temperature inversion. Later that day, the sun did break through and the frost quickly disappeared.
But that’s not what I want to write about. Really.
I’ve lately been thinking that in blog years, I’ve been around WP for quite some time – four years! – and have been following and reading some of the same blogs for about that long. So today, I thought I would pass on the names of a few of those blogs. They are fascinating and interesting and have stood the test of time. In blog terms, that is. 🙂
So, to those who have stuck to it and kept blogging, despite all kinds of life stuff and no doubt the occasional temptation to just stop, you have my most sincere appreciation.
There’s no award involved and no questions to answer.
I just want to say thank you.
I just want wish you good luck and continued happy posting:
Ursula at anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com. Ursula is a fantastic writer who will make you think, laugh and cry. She’s had a big impact on how I look at the narcissistic interactions I’ve had in my life, but her writing is about so much more than that. I’ve also learned as much, if not more, from the comment sections of her posts. Drop by for a visit.
Nelson at http://oneoldsage.wordpress.com. Right now, my neighbour Nelson (he lives close-by in the Okanagan) is working on a novel-length piece of fiction, but he has shared trips to Europe and his thoughts about surviving cancer, among many other things. He really is “one old sage.”
Jenny at http://ramblingsfromamum.wordpress.com. Jenny doesn’t publish as much as she used to because she’s been very busy with her elderly parents and she’s also just become a grandmother! 🙂 Her heartfelt poetry is touching and genuine – have a little browse.
Jill at http://jillweatherholt.com. Jill has just published a book! 🙂 For a long time now I have enjoyed her kind, thoughtful, compassionate posts and comments.
Caitlin at http://broadsideblog.wordpress.com. Caitlyn is a journalist, traveller, teacher, liver of life and fellow Canadian who lives and works in the US. She writes about many and varied topics and they are always interesting, well researched and well done. Take a look through her archives.
Ross at http://rossmurray1.wordpress.com. Another fellow Canadian, Ross is a humourist who lives in Quebec. Until recently, he was a regular contributor to CBC’s Breakaway (http://www.cbc.ca/breakaway). Like Caitlyn, he writes about many topics, and he’s always enjoyable, acerbic and witty. He’s also published a book!
Ned at http://nedhickson.com Ned lives in Oregon and is a very busy man. Take a look at his blog and you will see what I mean, but you will also enjoy his gentle and self-deprecating humour and commentary. Ned was also one of the very first bloggers I followed.
Mark at http://exileonpainstreet.com. Mark’s posts are eclectic, varied and genuine. He shares his visits to New York’s museums along with journal entries from his callow youth and other observations about life and such. He’s always a fantastic read.
Christopher Martin at http://christophermartinphotography.com. Christopher is a truly gifted photographer whose nature and wildlife pictures are amazing. He takes many of his photos in the Alberta foothills of the Rocky Mountains. Right now he’s doing a series on the snowy owl; last spring I spotted one of his photographs (it shows an elk being hunted by wolves) in The Globe and Mail (http://www.theglobeandmail.com). You can find the wolf series of photos on his blog, but be aware that they also show wolves doing what wolves do best.
So, if you aren’t already familiar with these blogs, go by for a little visit – you won’t be disappointed.
Do you have some long-time follows that you would like to share?
As bloggers, we get all kinds of comments. They are intrinsic to the whole bloggy bit. I look forward to comments. I like making comments. They are the lifeblood of the blogging world. They range from the hilarious to the poignant. But every now and then, we can get comments that prompt a different range of reaction.
There’s the kind that sets your teeth on edge. The kind that pisses you off. The kind that creeps you out.
I publish comments that I don’t agree with. I try to address them the best way I can without being rude or offensive. Live and let live. Not everyone is the same and diversity is healthy.
The creepy ones? The ones that make you feel like you’ve stepped on a dead slug with your bare foot? Those get labelled as spam and sent somewhere.
Then there’s the kind that you don’t know what to do with.
I got one of those yesterday. It rambles and it’s contradictory. It’s confusing at times. It sounds like Sarah Palin.
It could be an honest attempt at expression from someone who struggles with that … or maybe not.
The other thing is that there are bits of it that I really disagree with, and that’s the problem.
Am I being a chickenshit? Am I being lazy? Do I just not want to deal with the layers of stuff going on in this comment? Am I saying that this is my blog, I don’t like that comment, and commentator, you can just stuff it?
Because what really gets me is that this is a comment about narcissism. And the writer ends this comment I-don’t-like with, “and I’m not a narcissist.” Which immediately makes me think that he/she is a narcissist.
But it also sounds like it’s coming from a narcissist. I feel like there’s an attempt to reel me in, to undermine, to, to, slime all over everything. Sometimes, narcissists like to troll, like to present themselves as victims. Sometimes, they do a sort of hiding in plain sight. Covert narcissists. Then, there’s the narcissist who claims to not be a narcissist. Just so they can press some buttons and laugh at the discomfort they cause.
But maybe I’m over-reacting.
This comment has made me uncomfortable. And because of that, the comment is hiding in moderation-land. And maybe that’s all the warning I need.
If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t go there.
What’s moderate? Letting this person comment and then possibly opening some floodgates to a conversation I don’t want to have? Or is it my duty to just take on the bad with the good and get on with it? Just because I don’t want to do it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be done.
Do you publish comments that you disagree with? That you don’t like? That make you uncomfortable? What are we supposed to be moderating? What’s moderate, anyway?
So WordPress reminded me a couple of days ago that it was my anniversary! I’ve been blogging for a whole year! I think it’s time for a round-up!
October, 2012 – I started the year all serious. I was going to save the world from narcissists!
November – Still serious about the dreaded narcs. Was starting to realize that there was a lot more to write about, though, and a lot of interesting stuff to read, like why I shouldn’t fear potatoes and why google is better than yahoo. With names like that, recreational water torture is probably better.
December – I wrote a couple of rants about the holidays. I hate shopping, so shoot me now. Happy Thankshallowmas. Jenny Pellett thought this was great – thanks, Jenny :). Btw, there are lots of great writers around here named Jenny .
January – I was back at work after some medical leave and then got sick. Go figure. Water was a central feature of my life.
February – I did a couple of fairly well-received posts on narcissism and then moved on to other things.
March – I was back ranting and/or commenting again and began thinking about changing the name of my blog.
April – I changed my name! No more Mr. Narc Guy. Well, mostly.
May – I wrote a lot of random stuff. And then I wrote a post called Random Stuff.
June – I did some whining about how I’m not a morning person. You’d think that I would have this out of my system, but oh no. I just found out that non-morning types live shorter, unhealthier lives. If I wasn’t awake when I first started reading the article, I was certainly awake afterward. Since then, I have radically changed how I deal with sleep, I eat healthier, I exercise more … yeah, right.
July – I dipped my toe in the fictional waters again after a long absence.
September – Waaahhh! I broke my computer! When it recovered, I started whining about the holidays again. Yup. That would be me.
October, 2013 – Only one post from me, because I’m monumentally busy with a change-of-career project that I’m working on. I’ve been reading all of you, though, and enjoying your posts thoroughly! 🙂
But this post together with a post from Rarasaur got me thinking. How long do we bloggers last? The shelf-life seems pretty short. Many people whom I started following last year don’t post anymore, even though they were doing well. Is keeping up the blogging harder than people anticipate? Do many not really understand what they’re getting into and how they are essentially making a commitment when they click that “follow” button? What do you think? Any thoughts about this?
In any case, I want to send a sincere thank you to all those who follow me or have clicked like – I appreciate you all. 🙂
Ramblings from a Mum has passed on a cute game to me and I’m passing it on to others. Hope you have a little fun with this! 🙂
1. Post these rules.
2. Post a photo of yourself and eleven random facts about you.
3. Answer the questions given to you in the tagger’s post.
4. Create eleven new questions and tag new people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and let them know they’ve been tagged.
Please note that I have to break rule # 2. Can’t post a picture of myself as I would be concerned that my ex-narcissist/husband might find it. Sorry. But I will explain the blue square. I’m sure you’re dying to know.
It’s supposed to be a picture of some clouds taken from above them. That picture actually shows up in bar at the top of the page, but nowhere else. For some reason only known to Zeus and Aphrodite, when I go visiting other blogs it simply shows up as a blue square. And actually in my sidebar, too. Go figure. Anyway, sky and clouds and weather are a big thing for me because I’m a pilot.
So, on to the game!
Here are Rambly’s questions to me:
1. What started you blogging?
I started because I wanted to throw my voice into the growing chorus of warning about the dangers of narcissists.
2. What are your worst and best traits?
Hummm. You just want one of each??? Especially the best traits? 😉
I have many worst traits. One of them is that I have had to really work on creating personal boundaries; in the past people have taken advantage of me.
My best trait is my sense of humour. Sometimes I can be funny. Really.
3. What is your favourite animal and why?
Dogs! Who is ever going to be as unconditional as a dog?
4. Who would you like to meet and why?
Good question. Not sure. Probably Pierre Trudeau. He was a PM of Canada who’s dead now. He was witty, smart, and completely irreverent and arrogant. He had something to be arrogant about, though. Lots of people really disliked him, but no matter what they say, he loved this country.
5. What is your favourite memory?
My most recent one is the day I met M. 🙂
6. If you had the power to change something in the world for the better, what would it be?
Wait a sec … just getting out my Harry Potter wand – oh yeah! I keep forgetting! It’s in laundry. Good chance I’ll never see it again. Well. To the answer. Everyone would have an equal opportunity at education.
7. What country would you like to visit that you haven’t been to?
Australia! No kidding! Have always wanted to visit! 🙂
8. If you could invent something, what would it be?
A yard work robot/machine/whatever. Something that will do yard work for me. I HATE yard work.
9. Who inspires me?
There have been many inspirations. M inspires me. A colleague inspires me. Seeing people give of themselves inspires me.
When I first started this project, all I wanted to do was throw my voice into the growing chorus of warning about narcissists and the damage they can do to the rest of us. And I intend to keep posting about that topic.
But I also find that more and more, I want to post about other things – as you’ve probably noticed.
It’s interesting how this blog has changed since I started it – it has almost taken on a life of its own, something that I think is a good sign of growth and moving on – a very suitable notion for spring.
And I have moved on. I no longer feel the intense urgency to write about narcissism that I did in the beginning. I have crossed a Rubicon of sorts – I’m no longer inside the box but outside, having a peek, grateful that I’m no longer trapped in there. In the light – a much better place to be.
In tandem with this is the fact that I have a wonderful relationship with M, that we’re making plans together, that despite the crap, one can have a perfectly ordinary, perfectly good life again.
Yes, I was married to a narcissist. And I lived through it, even though there were days when I seriously thought I was losing my mind. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I felt like I was in hell.
I’m still cleaning up the financial mess that he left me with and I will be doing that for a while, but M is also helping me.
There are times when I still wish that I had never laid eyes on him, but then I remember how much I have learned, and I would never want to give that up, in spite of how much it cost me.