Are You a Dreamer?

I went through a dreamer phase when I was a child. I used to think about all kinds of heroic things, with of course, myself in the role of hero. Much of the time, I was basing my heroic roles on tv shows or movies I had seen or books I had read. I was Huck Finn for a while. I was a poor young guy who rubbed a magic lamp, I was a WW I pilot (Billy Bishop), I was several of King Arthur’s knights. As time went on, I made up variations on these heroes. I put a spin on them, if you will. They started to become quite different from their original incarnations.

These heroes were all male; while I dreamed, I inhabited a male persona. Eventually and as I aged, they became female, and then there was a short romantic period where I became the one who needed to be rescued, instead of doing the rescuing.

By the time I was about 11 or 12, these dreams vanished altogether. They were being replaced by reality, and I had to start thinking about how I was going to get on. Dreamers were nothing but dreamers.

One thing that I knew was that I didn’t want to be where I was, in that house with my troubled and narcissistic mother who tried to control every living thought and breath. There were some good moments with her, but they were few and far between.

My dreams became plans. How to get out and get away. There were money considerations, and how I was going to do what I wanted to do.

I knew that I needed to do as well academically as I could, and after that, it would be a question of funds. Where would that come from?

Eventually, I figured that out too.

In a way, dreaming saved me. Without it, I wouldn’t have been inspired to try to do something that wasn’t typical. The spirit of those knights and adventurers were behind me, exhorting me to keep trying, to not give up.

They taught me how to not need rescuing.

So for me, it wasn’t a childhood passage, it was a connection to a necessity.

What about you?

Are you a dreamer?

30 thoughts on “Are You a Dreamer?”

  1. This is interesting, Lynette. You actually became your own hero, doing what you needed to rescue yourself.
    How neat that your dreams as a child were the male hero. I used to imagine being Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie. Or, Samantha from Bewitched. I wanted magical powers to create whatever I wanted for my life, and I did create those things in the solitude of my bedroom. So yes, I was definitely a dreamer. My parents used to tell me I was a dreamer as if it were a bad thing . . . like I was being ridiculous. Eventually, their rolling-of-the-eyes snuffed out the dreamer in me. I used to create fantasy stories as a kid, and now as an adult, I write about reality and how to overcome.

    1. I love that you enjoyed the “magic” of these characters. Your talent as a writer is borne out of hard work, but it has the result of being magical. πŸ™‚

      I think it’s really normal for kids to dream – they’re growing their imaginations and developing their creative abilities. I’m so sorry to hear that you experienced that negative attitude, Lori.

  2. Hi Lynette. I think that most people have dreams of one sort or another, such as dreams for a better future for themselves or for their children. Dreams of those sorts are part of human nature, I believe. Bye till next time!

    Neil

      1. thats interesting Lynette. I didn’t think people could tell something like that from my style of shooting? Thanks for the feedback.
        Yes,I most certainly am a romantic in not only subject matter but colour and light.

    1. Thank you. πŸ™‚ Actually, I dream now more than I have in many years, although it’s crowded out a lot by work. 😳 I’m in my first year in a new and very demanding position and lots of things are being crowded out …

  3. Nicely done and very thought-provoking. As for my own youth, I had daydreams about hope and rescue and accomplishment. My actual dreams were much more somber and desperate, often centering around a similar theme of trying to get away from my disheartening family situation at the time. I had countless dreams of slipping away from my own house and sneaking into other houses where I could see how happy families lived….

    1. Thank you. πŸ™‚
      Awww, Brian. So sorry to hear about your dream of sneaking into other houses to see a happy family. But I can relate. I never knew what I was going to confront when I arrived home.
      I worked hard to get out and away. It was my goal and the reason I focused on doing well academically. In fact, I was so focused that when I left, I had to come to a screeching halt because I didn’t know what I was going to do next.

  4. Sure, there has to be a balance to dreaming. Sometimes all you get from dreaming is dreams, but at other times you can bring those dreams into actions, or as you say use them to propel you onward toward some necessary goal. I like the conversation you started here! Hope you have a nice start to your weekend!

  5. Love this reflection on dreams and heroes–and the need to dream. It’s not such a frivolous thing, as one might think. It is a necessity sometimes, as you express here–especially in the situation you describe. I do enjoy dreaming. Dreaming leads to action and inspiration.

  6. Wow! I’m kind of blown away here, Lynette! That was one of the most insightful posts I’ve read in recent memory — on more than one level. I think it reveals as much about an aspect of human nature as it does about you as an individual.

    Before I forget, I loved the detail that you began identifying with the male role. I think it’s rare for anyone to think outside the box of their sex or gender. So many of us treat it as a essential part of us. I have even noticed that very many people who say they can recall their past lives have always been the same sex.

    Like billions of others, I suppose, I occasionally like to fantasize of being unbelievably (pun intended) wealthy. I change sexes then, imagine myself as a woman. It’s more entertaining. Usually, it’s nights I can’t to sleep. I spend my incredible riches building cities. You should see my cities! Public art — sculptures, murals, reliefs, fountains, etc — everywhere! Wonderful schools! Faster than lightening internet! Museums! Parks! etc etc.etc. Tragically, I suck at architecture. My buildings never get beyond boxes with signs on them, “To be remolded at a future date”.

    I grew up dirt poor. Mom was the CEO of a small business that could have afforded her a generous income, but for reasons largely having to do with the time, the place, her sex, and a misogynistic chairman of her board, mom’s salary sucked. Two toys per kid per year. Christmas and birthdays. To put that in perspective, mom heavily invested what little she could in books for us. She had the right priorities.

    But i believe our poverty affected me different than my two brothers. Both of them sought to escape it by working their butts off in school and later in their jobs. Both are wealthy today. Me, I turned away from the disappointing world and inward to a life of the mind — a life that poverty could not control,restrict, and crush. And I found my greatest satisfaction in making sense of things. Not quite in learning things. That was great! But making sense of what I’d learned was greater. Beyond that,though, I turned to dreams of improving myself. Instead of focusing on making money, I focused on becoming my ideal of a human.

    I guess you could say our poverty growing up gave my brothers their dreams of material success, and me my dreams of “spiritual” success.

    1. Thank you very much πŸ™‚ And thank you for sharing. πŸ™‚
      I have never thought about it as odd or different, and I believe that that’s what dreaming is all about – you can be whatever you want to be: male, female, otherworldly, or not. Once people start taking steps to make a dream a reality, they are no longer dreams, and no longer a source of solace or comfort; they can become disappointments and disillusionments.
      It sounds to me like you have been very successful in finding what works for you – success can be defined in many, many ways. πŸ™‚

  7. I like to say, Why bother to dream at all if you’re only going to dream small?
    I have always been a dreamer, and a believer in dreams. I met my husband in many dreams before I met him in real life.
    I’m sure I will die a dreamer.
    I’m glad your dreams were a propellant for you, a way to help you get from there to here. You made your dreams work for you and that is a rare and beautiful thing. xoxox ❀

  8. Yes I’m a dreamer . In my childhood I dreamed of escaping or floating away but that soon turned to planning and I successfully made my dreams a reality. Oh the the freedom of escaping childhood Trauma..

    Thank you for sharing your post. I truly enjoyed reading it.

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