Why Do You Blog?

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The idea for this post came from https://anupturnedsoul.wordpress.com who asked this question after being prompted by a blog that she follows: https://aguycalledbloke.blog.

It’s a good question.

Why DO I blog?

Well, for the most part, it started out with wanting to hang a warning sign on the Narcissistic Personality Disordered people among us who go crashing through the lives of the unsuspecting, causing all kinds of damage and mayhem; in some cases even murder.

But along the way, many things changed. In interacting with other blogs and reading the comments, I came to realise a few things.

The first is that I had a lot more to learn about narcissism than I could impart. Intellectually, I knew that before I started, and knew that I could only write what I had experienced. But I also didn’t know it. The “ordinary”experiences and thoughts of others provided a depth and challenge that I wasn’t able to achieve on my own or through just reading the work of professionals on the topic.

Ordinary experiences, as in, “yup, I experienced a narcissist in my office and here’s what learned. I’m not a psychologist and I didn’t have one living in my house. But here’s a piece of the puzzle,” became central to how I thought about narcissism and to how I thought about people.

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So, my idea to write about narcissism from a position of experience quickly became writing about narcissism to help me think through it in a more cogent, spherical way.

It also became a way to think about my responsibility in it. Again, I had recognised that I bore some responsibility, but I needed to explore that. And writing about it, reading others’ writing about it, and considering how they saw it, helped me to place myself, including finally being able to admit that I had been raised by a narcissistic mother. I really began to see how I had contributed to my own issues.

My thoughts about narcissism, how I had been affected by it, and my part in it, were chaotic and driven. Writing about it was therapeutic.

I don’t consider myself to be a writer. I’m never going to write a great novel or even a really good blog post. I dabble in writing because the mental exercise of it has been good for me. And, it’s given me the opportunity to read some really good stuff by other bloggers who are far more talented than I am.

Reading blogs about narcissism lead me to other blogs that weren’t about narcissism, and now I follow and randomly read lots of blogs that have nothing to do with it. I have branched out in my own posts. Sometimes I still write about narcissism, and I definitely still read about it, but it’s not the main theme any more.

For me, blogging has become, for the most part, about exploring others’ ideas, humour, travel, photos, musings, reflections and food, just to name a few. I love that I can read a blog about exploring Dorset (https://thedorsetrambler.com) – whose author/photographer writes about his explorations in the most gentle and lyrical way – and then switch over to see what’s going on in someone’s kitchen (https://fixinleaksnleeksdiy.blog).

In a nutshell, it has become the journey to otherness, the exploration of what’s not-me.

Why do you blog?

37 thoughts on “Why Do You Blog?”

  1. I started my blog at the beginning of my writing journey because I was told it was good to have a platform. Now, I blog because of the friendships and connections made over the years. I’m happy we met, Lynette!

  2. Really good blog post, Lynette πŸ™‚

    Did you see what I did there. To me a really good blog post isn’t about the skill of the writing but about the heart and soul of it. Reaching out and touching others in some way with what you share, which can be anything which reached out and touched you.

    And thank you very much for the blog nod! I often find myself wondering why I blog, or at least why I still blog. I think part of the fun of it is that I’m doing it without necessarily always knowing why I’m doing it.

    I’m very blessed that we blog-met. I’ve learned a lot from you!

    1. Hahaha! πŸ™‚

      I initially thought, that doesn’t sound like Ursula, then I quickly thought, oh, she’s quoting me, so I did see it. πŸ™‚

      Yes, it is about the heart and soul of it, which is one of the reasons I like your blog so much. πŸ™‚

      You are very welcome for the blog nod. I’ve learned a lot from you too.

  3. Hi Lynette. You know, I started my blog in 2015 because I needed to add a new activity to my life. I wasn’t sure how long I’d keep at it. Bit I found that I like to write, so I’m still turning out the articles. And, like you, I enjoy reading the pieces that other people post. You never know what you’ll learn from their stories. Have a great day. Take care.

    Neil

    1. I have always found others to be more interesting – maybe it’s a case of the grass being greener. But whatever it is, it’s certainly very true to say that you never know what you will learn from others. πŸ™‚
      You have a great day too. πŸ™‚

  4. What a lovely post. I think that’s the great thing about this world, it lends itself to cover so many bases and purposes. And within our own blog, there is no need to feel restricted to a genre or subject. It’s OURS to do what we like with 😊. I bet many blogs have evolved away from original expectations. My own story is it’s given me a long-needed creative platform, the catalyst being two redundancies that nearly tipped my sanity to breaking point. How it’s unfolded has far exceeded anything I could’ve wished for. I can’t imagine it not being part of my life now. And as you say, the discoveries and connections made along the way have proved invaluable. 😊

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment πŸ™‚

      Yes – it IS ours to do what we like with. I think it’s important to let it morph into what you need it to be, as my thinking changed, so did my blog. The connections and discoveries have been truly wonderful – travel and exploration opens up the world, but blogging can do that too. πŸ™‚

  5. I think you do a nice job of writing. As you probably know, I really enjoy digging into the psyche, so your blog was a great find for me. I wonder how people become narcissists. I mean, what happens in their childhood to make them that way as adults? I knew my mom’s parents, and they didn’t seem like narcissists to me, although her mom was co-dependent. She was a phenomenal grandmother to me. Those grandparents were raised in a different era and had much less education than we do today. I haven’t even covered my dad’s side (he’s also narcissist).

    And there I go, digging into the psyche again. Anyway, it’s wonderful that you’ve learned so much about yourself and the topic through blogging.

    Why do I blog? Well, I started because I was told by my writer’s group (when I lived in Florida) that I needed to have an online profile if I wanted to be an author. So, I reluctantly started a blog to write about human behavior (because that was I write about as an author), and I ended up loving it. I blog more than I write my fiction now, which probably isn’t good.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, Lynette.

    1. Thank you Lori – that’s very kind of you. πŸ™‚ I have always found writing to be a bit of a challenge (English is my second language although it’s in first position now) and I always feel as if I’m coming across as stiff and awkward.

      Narcissists … imho I think that it may be rooted in biology. The propensity is there, or something like that. Then, if it’s triggered in childhood somehow (and it doesn’t have to be triggered by a parent – it could be a school situation, or other kids or adults) it starts to grow. It’s initially one way the self can go into protection mode, and actually, it’s a very effective survival tool. But then it doesn’t stop growing, and as we both know, it can even go as far as psychopathy. So it could very well be (if you buy into my theory) that your mom’s narcissism was the result of her biology plus other experiences with people outside of her parents. Digging into the psyche is an interesting place to dig. πŸ™‚

      Blogging is such an fascinating world, and it’s so wonderful how it develops and changes. I’m glad that I “met” you, Lori. I love reading your blog. πŸ˜€

      1. Interesting thoughts on where narcissism begins. I do think that maybe we have a propensity for certain behaviors through biology, and then if something triggers us, it becomes manifest. My mom’s dad could be the reason her narcissism triggered.

        The therapist I saw in Florida said we all have a tad bit of narcissism in us. It’s the narcissism disorder that’s the problem.

        I had no idea that English was your second language. That really says something about your writing. Are you from French Canada, or somewhere else? I know our other Canadian blogger friend, Anneli, is originally from Germany but moved to Canada as a child.

        Thanks for the stimulating conversation. πŸ™‚

        1. Thanks too – comment chats are great. πŸ™‚

          Yes, I think we are all a little narcissistic, which is probably one of the reasons why we have done so well as a species. When it comes to NPD, I guess it’s like most things; too much will cause all kinds of problems. Although narcissism – it’s just so intractable.

          My dad was French-Canadian. I grew up in a very French community. My surname (d’Arty-Cross was my grandmother’s surname) is really French and difficult for many English speakers to pronounce. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Even now, I can still trip over a pronunciation. I always find the word “grimace” difficult. πŸ™‚ I never would have known that Anneli’s first language is German! πŸ™‚

  6. OK, why I blog, in a minute, but first this: You are one of the most interesting people I follow here and you write really good posts all the time, so stop it.
    Now that we’ve got all that out of the way, the question everyone’s asking, “WHY, Kenny, WHY DO YOU BLOG?” Since you asked, I blog because I write in very much the same manner in which I speak, which can be hard for some people to take. For all that, I still have things on my mind and I need to say them so I say them here and when I do they’re done. No one has to read them but anyone can who wants to. It’s even all right to take a break and come back when your head stops hurting, which is certainly much better than being cut off mid-sentence and asked if we can talk about something else. There you go.

    1. Thank you Kenny – that’s such a lovely comment. πŸ™‚ I have never felt really comfortable writing (which is one of the reasons why blogging has been good for me) because English isn’t really my first language. After so many years of use, it is now, but I’ve always felt awkward and unsure about it. However your vote of confidence helps my confidence. πŸ™‚

      Right? We all need a place to just talk about what gets to us and about what we need to say. If someone is reading your blog, then they’re reading your blog, not pretending to listen while they check Facebook on their phones. πŸ˜‰

  7. This is an excellent post which, if you’ll allow me to say so, somewhat negates your self-perception that you are not a writer. On the contrary, you are a satisfyingly good one. You don’t have to write books or carefully-plotted short stories to be a writer. You simply have to be able to arrange words in a thoughtful, pleasing manner (a skill that most in this age do not have), regardless of the format, and you do so swimmingly. I look forward to more of your non-writing… πŸ˜‰

    1. Thank you for the completely lovely, confidence-boosting comment. πŸ™‚ You are a gentleman, kind sir. πŸ™‚

      I have always felt that I sound a bit like a textbook- and not in a good way. πŸ˜‰ English wasn’t my first language (it is now) and I keep wondering if I’m sort of getting it wrong. But then again, that’s a question I’ve asked myself about lots of things …

  8. I am astonished to find I am following yet another native French speaker. I am only very distantly French, (my GG Grandmother) and yet lately I find myself being drawn to all things(and people) French. It was interesting to take my youngsters to France and to realise they simply did not connect with it the way I did. I hate with each year that passes my French is becoming increasingly rusty. I think it is a great gift to be truly bi-lingual.
    I have traveled all over Eastern Canada and Montreal had amazed me. People switching between French and English while speaking without appearing to notice.

    1. We try. πŸ™‚ Our bilingual abilities are improving but still need work – it’s a big country. πŸ™‚

      I find myself stumbling over vocabulary too – English has been my main language for a long time now. But I find that once you know a language, it will come back quickly if you have to focus on it. You could probably knock the rust off fairly easily. I’m happy to be another “French connection.” πŸ™‚
      Bon week-end.

  9. Funny story. I have taught my children a little French. My son was astonished to hear somebody being told to go away in French and to realise the English speaker was oblivious. He has been learning French online now, the whole time he has been on holiday.

    1. It’s so great when children (and adults too) realise that they know something someone else doesn’t, something concrete and definite. It’s such an eye-opener about being a human being. πŸ™‚

  10. Thanks for the shout out:) I think writing can definitely serve a therapeutic purpose, as you eloquently observe here in your post. I blog because, well, sometimes I just need to laugh. Setting aside time once a week to write silly and non-serious stuff is refreshing for me. And I absolutely love the blogging community. Everyone I’ve encountered is so amazingly supportive and I can’t thank my blogging friends enough. Cheers!

    1. I see your lightheartedness as therapeutic as well. πŸ™‚ Laughing is good for you and it would elevate the world if we all did more of it.

      I agree about the blogging world. I’ve run across the odd twit who’s trying to cause trouble, but I haven’t encountered many of them.

  11. I think you write good blog posts all the time πŸ™‚ And it’s never too late for novel, I’d say! Everyone has one or two in them. This is an interesting post. It’s nice to see that you’ve challenged yourself and branched out. Life is about constantly learning!

  12. Why do I blog? About a dozen years ago, my therapist got it into his twisted and warped mind (we’re highly compatible, Arun and I) to nag me to blog until one or the other of us was defeated in exhaustion. Took him six months, Lynette, but he won.
    But why put more than a minimal effort into it? Too many reasons now to list in a short post. But perhaps this will interest you. Writing is the best way I know of to clarify something. Writing to an audience is the best way I know of working out how to be true to myself in a word that often seems bent on distracting us from being true to ourselves. it teaches me how to stick to the path of my own voice.
    Does any of that make sense?

    1. Hi Paul,

      You’re both twisted and warped? πŸ˜‰ You don’t come across that way.

      Yes, I very much agree that writing forces you to clarify. Sometimes it makes me realise that the situation is worse than I thought, and sometimes I realise that it’s pretty good.

      Working to stick to the path of your own voice makes complete sense to me. Without your own voice, no matter how faint it is, you’re just a sort of empty hole, constantly on the lookout for a stolen one to put in there, and a voice that isn’t your own isn’t really a voice.

  13. This is just a lovely post. Like you I started my blog after the trauma of dealing with a narcissist. This is a healing community isn’t it? Your post has made me realise, I have been on a similar journey. I have so much to thank you all for. When nobody had understood my experience of narcissistic abuse, I found my healing here.

    1. The blogging world can provide answers that you don’t get anywhere else because a lot of the time, people just say what they know from the context of experience. It’s so different from the formalities of therapy, for example (although I had a great counsellor).

      I’m so glad to hear that you’re doing better. πŸ™‚

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