The Narcissist’s Piano, and Other Foolishness

I found this in my search terms: narcissist piano. I did the mental equivalent of shifting from one foot to the other while I mulled that over. What does it mean??? Is it a typo? Is the searcher wondering if pianists are narcissists? Is that an actual type of piano?

I mean, this is the sort of thing that keeps me up at night.

So I did what anyone would do and googled it. At first, google stared stupidly at me. Then it coughed up narcissistic jazz, narcissistic piano bench and Ryan O’Neal.

Who knew?

Does Ryan O’Neal play narcissistic jazz while sitting on a narcissistic piano bench? Is Ryan O’Neal a narcissist? Or is it just his piano? Nope. I think that might be Billy Joel. (Get it? Nudge nudge. Just me and my old piano?)

This is so confusing. Is it an alien piano? It grew up on Mars eating Matt Damon’s poop potatoes?

Oh – I know! It’s a zombie piano. The lid opens and it takes a big drooly bite out of your sheet music.

And I couldn’t find my blog on that google search either so I have no idea why the narcissistic piano wound up in my terms.

Justin Trudeau, our PM. I just thought I would throw him in. Better than a narcissist piano and better looking, too. I think. Because I have no idea what a narcissist piano looks like.

The word piano means soft.

And narcissists aren’t soft. Not unless it gets them something. And then they’re hard.

Could the searcher have been looking for something like “narcissists who are soft” and since his first language is Italian, and he’s just learning English, it came out as narcissist piano?

Maybe I’m going a little far with that one …

My ex-narcissist played the piano.

Apparently he would have been Mozart’s doppelganger if he’d had the right breaks in life.

Or something pretentious like that.

I arranged for the piano tuner to come by and spiff up my piano so that the narcissist could play it. It had been in storage but I got it out for him because naturally, the narcissist didn’t have a piano of his own. Most doppelganger Mozarts don’t have their own pianos. True. It’s a fact.

When I came home from work, the narcissist told me that the piano was done. As in finished. Kaput. Toast. Ready for the big dirt nap.

The tuner had told him that the sound board was crumbling to bits. The carpenter ants were coming to take it away.

Then, a few months later, the narcissist asked me for a new piano. I briefly considered it but then decided not to. My financials were feeling the strain of being married to a doppelganger Mozart.

Later, after I had divorced him, I checked the piano myself. It has some little cracks, but everything I’ve read says that this is not a big issue. It sounds okay.

Hummm. I think the narcissist just wanted a new piano.

So there you have it. If someone else googles narcissist piano, there will be an answer.

And a cute picture of Justin Trudeau.

What do you think it means?

8 thoughts on “The Narcissist’s Piano, and Other Foolishness”

  1. Haha. Yeah, well, I don’t know about narcissist piano, but I get people searching big butts who find my blog. LOL I wrote a recipe post once about making focaccia bread. I mentioned that the raised dough picture looked like a big white butt. I think those people who search big butts are sorely disappointed when they find my post. 😀 I wonder if your narcissist piano searcher found what they were looking for.

    1. Oh my Lori – you handed me such an out loud laugh. 😀 Thank you!

      I’m just not sure where I’ve mentioned pianos before (or even if I have) but (no pun intended 😉 ) why would anyone be looking for narcissist piano anyway? The internet can be a mysterious place.

  2. Hi Lynette, Maybe that was me. My narc partner has a baby grand that he’s very weird about, it’s really kind of beat up and used looking and everything else in his place is new and beautiful, like something out of Architectural Digest. He trained as a child and teen with a lady who was the principal pianist for the main symphony in our city, I’ve heard the cd’s (allegedly him) and he was good. His family confirms that this account is well established fact. The thing is, in 10 years I’ve only heard him play the piano once, by accident, and it was very brief. I’ve asked over and over again to hear him play, even at Christmas he always finds an excuse not to play. It’s always made me wonder why he would spend so much time and energy on a skill like that, and then just completely and totally drop it. Now I realize it must be because it’s just a skill, it brings him no joy or emotion, and so he moves the piano with him everywhere he goes and has to buy places based on the space they provide to accommodate this Baby Grand piano, and yet, he never, ever plays it (he’s corporate guy, has moved at least 12 times in 25 years). It’s so sad to me. He keeps moving this piano with him, he portrays it like it’s an integral part of him, but he never, ever enjoys it. It’s like he knows he’s supposed to enjoy it and so he keeps it with him. I wonder if the music actually did occasionally make a connection to him, and that’s why he takes this ratty old piano with him everywhere he goes. I like to think that at any rate.

    1. Thank you very much for sharing. 🙂

      It showed up three times, so you’re not the only one interested. 🙂

      Your explanation is interesting because usually, narcissists like to lap up the kind of attention that playing the piano well can produce. As I indicate above, my ex-narcissist also played – not badly but no concert pianist either – and took advantage of opportunities to show off. It’s possible that his family is covering for him, especially if they are rather narcissistic themselves and can shine in the reflected glory (and you also seem to be doubtful – you use the word “allegedly”).

      Narcissists either objectify others or see others as extensions of themselves and therefore, “others” as distinct, functioning individuals don’t really exist for them. In fact everything, whether alive or not, is seen as an object. The banged-up piano is just another object, but he’s attached to it as “evidence” of the story that he tells about his musical prowess (no doubt the piano’s condition is part of his story – “I know it looks awful but I can’t bear to part with it” or some such) . It’s a trophy, just as I was a trophy that my ex-husband narcissist could brag about. In private, however, I couldn’t do anything right.

      If he is indeed a former pianist, then it’s quite possible that your interpretation is correct and it has become an extension of himself. Narcissists are very flat and don’t have the range of emotions that most people have – with the exception of their rage – so no, he wouldn’t find any joy in it.

      Thanks for coming by. 🙂

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