Yop Narci Signs

So I found this in my search terms, along with “narcissist bullshitter” and “the narcissist cookbook.” Could be something funny here – do you think?

Are narcissists bullshitters? Do they bullshit about cooking? Or are they busy cooking up bullshit? With Yop yogourt? Yuck. Now there’s an unattractive visual. Maybe the searcher was looking for Gordon Ramsay’s cookbook.

My ex-narcissist was the biggest bullshitter when it came to his cooking abilities. And everything else. But when it came to recipes for the narcissistic line, he was yops, er, tops.

What recipes would The Narcissist Cookbook contain? Let’s take a quick stroll through a potential table of contents.

1. Appetiser – The “I love you because you’re perfect” Smoked Oysters.

2. Pasta – The “I can’t live without you, precious” Farfalle with Creamy Truffles.

3. Meat – The “I really need a quick loan and will pay you right back” well done flank steak.

4. Fish – The “will you marry me” Cedar-Planked Salmon with Arugula Salad.

5. Palate Cleanser – The “you’re such an annoying person but anyway will you buy this suit for me” Eye-Watering Lemon Sorbet.

6. Dessert – The “I’ve fallen out of love with you but you still need to buy these tires for my car” Curdled Creme Brulee.

7. Cheese Plate – The “I know you want a divorce but you’re gonna have to pay me” Squishy Grape and Smelly Rotten Cheese Platter.

8. Very Expensive Civet Coffee with Petit fours.

9. Free-at-last Digestive (recipe not included in cookbook but necessary in order to recover from meal-induced heartburn. Don’t worry. It goes away.)

10. (Next day) Tummy-soothing Oatmeal with Brown Sugar, best consumed with good friend.

Do you have any recipes to add? 🙂

CategoriesA Little Laugh Turneth Away Wrath, Narcissism - One Woman's True Story of Marriage to a Narcissist

Tagsfunny, humor, humour, musings, Narcissism, narcissist, narcissistic abuse, narcissistic personality disorder, narcissists, NPD

12 Comments

ramblingsfromamum January 21, 2015 at 12:15 am

No I don’t sadly, but I relate to number 3 the meat dish… Not because she is a narcissist, but K is all about the flank steak! Funny post hun. ☺️ x

1. Lynette d'Arty-Cross January 22, 2015 at 3:08 pm
  
  Glad you enjoyed it, Rambly. I plan to write more stuff that (hopefully) provides some smiles. 🙂 Hope you’re okay. 🙂
  
  1. ramblingsfromamum January 23, 2015 at 3:15 am
    
    Good, I’m doing okay hun, thank you xx
    
jennypellett January 21, 2015 at 11:51 am

Haha, fun post. Good to have your acerbic thoughts back in my reader!

1. Lynette d'Arty-Cross January 22, 2015 at 3:03 pm
  
  Thanks, Jenny! It’seems good to be back although I have to say that I feel out of practise. 🙂
  
  1. jennypellett January 22, 2015 at 3:28 pm
    
    Well, it doesn’t show!
    
    1. Lynette d'Arty-Cross January 22, 2015 at 3:38 pm
      
      My previous comment should read “it’s good to be back” not “it seems good to be back.” This new computer has mad auto-correcting and it’s driving me crazy because I haven’t figured out how to turn it off! Anyway, thanks for your kind comment. 🙂
      
bejamin4 January 25, 2015 at 11:05 am

I read this this one again. And so funny. But unfortunately very true too.

1. Lynette d'Arty-Cross January 25, 2015 at 3:23 pm
  
  Yup – unfortunately this is more or less what happened.
  
  Thanks for your comment. 🙂
  
  1. bejamin4 January 25, 2015 at 4:34 pm
    
    You’re welcome. Hopefully on the lesser side of what happened. Have a great night!
    
That Shameless Hussy February 7, 2015 at 10:32 am

I loved this. We have to have a little bit of a sense of humor about things or we don’t survive. 🙂

1. Lynette d'Arty-Cross February 7, 2015 at 5:33 pm
  
  Thank you! 🙂 I very much believe in the value of humour. For me, it is as important as good relationships. 🙂