I Am NOT a Morning Person

"Oh How I Hate to Get up in the Morning&q...
“Oh How I Hate to Get up in the Morning” (sheet music) page 1 of 3 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why is it that the morning people dominate the world??? Discriminatory, I say! My rights are being trampled on!!

Night owls of the world arise! You have nothing to lose but your sack time, and that’s already happening! We need respect! We need understanding! We need coffee!

I hate mornings.

I really hate mornings when you’re with someone who’s all perky and bright and chirpy.

They sing at you: La da ti da dahh di da doe mi so la fa dahhh …

That’s what it sounds like to me. Then, because you don’t respond because you can’t understand them, they sing at you again, more loudly this time. It’s like having a gong go off in your head.

And because you aren’t like them, they can get all huffy and defensive and even start viewing you as a lesser species.

A word of advice: it ain’t about you, morning lark.

If you think that there’s no such thing as life after death, you haven’t been to my house and seen me get up in the morning.

M. is the same way. Only worse.  He looks the way I feel. Slow. Lumbering. Somambulant.

If you really poke at me, I can start acting like a pissed off velociraptor.  A confused one.

Nothing looks right. It’s all so briiiight, and faaast, and loooud. And I hear and see it all in slow motion, no kidding. The lights are on but nobody’s home.

Coffee is my saviour. Without coffee, I wouldn’t wake up until four o’clock in the afternoon.  I wouldn’t be able to deal with plumbers, meter readers, letter carriers, work, or breathing.

Coffee bean
Coffee bean (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If life operated the way it should, I would go to bed at one o’clock and get up at nine. I would be functioning and contented, if still not fully awake. But our 24/7 world doesn’t allow for this. We have millions of years of evolution screaming at us to go back to bed, especially while that storm is raging outside, but we have to shoehorn ourselves into a work life that our biology hates.

I really sometimes wonder what we’re doing to ourselves. Do you?

34 thoughts on “I Am NOT a Morning Person”

  1. I get more done in the morning but that doesn’t mean I like mornings – they like me, I think. By 11 in the evening my lids are drooping and I find nothing riveting enough to keep me awake. I’ve always been this way – not very cool when you’re young and supposed to love partying into the small hours – I’d be asleep on someone’s sofa!

  2. I used to think that I was not a morning person, as it turns out it was more about the company I was keeping… I do actually like mornings – but they need to be quiet, subdued, low stress and I need at least 30 – 60 minutes ALONE!

  3. Hey, I’m a morning person, an absolute lark… However, I have experience with partner owls and have consequently developed a sensitive interpretative ear for grunts and such noises during the early morning hours. Complete sentences tend to be formed well after sunrise for the veritable owl… So, I get your dislike for the morning. For me, it’s the other way around. I’ll wake up before sunrise and I’m wide awake. Think the antithesis of how you feel in the morning, there will be no more sleeping because the invisible matchsticks keep my eyelids firmly open with my brain is going at a million miles an hour. What am I to do? Certainly not wake up my owl… I do however play a game of guessing when coffee needs to be delivered to move the waking process to extracting double syllable grunts 😉

      1. Thanks Lynette, I’d like to think so, I try to delight in difference even when it’s difficult. Yeah, I’ve been away for a while, dealing with life and work… It’s nice to have a holiday to get out of the normal lane for a bit. Congrats on your new blog name btw, I like it.

  4. I SO enjoyed this post! I have to be at work at 8:15 am. Before that, there’s an hour commute, dogs, cats and horses to feed and tend to, and somewhere in there, a shower. That puts waky-waky time at about 5:30am. I feel JUST like you describe! This made me laugh out loud. 🙂

  5. I’ll be very quiet and tip toe through your post this morning. The last thing I need is a pissed off velociraptor tearing my heart out. Shh, Lynette isn’t awake yet. More coffee over here please.

  6. I LOVED This! Laughed how the bright and perky remind you of someone singing. I do like the idea of bed at 1am and up at 9.. would woke so much better. I am a morning person in the summer and a not so morning person in the winter. Mr. S is not a morning person period, we both wake shuffle past one another and grunt a ‘mornin’ takes up both some time to be hospitable. 🙂 x

    1. crap see what I wrote would ‘woke’ so much better – see getting up tomorrow morning is already in my head…I did mean work so much better (but you knew that) 🙂

  7. LOL. Totally fun blog. And so wise. I need coffee in the morning. When I babysit my niece and nephew – they literally wake up on level 10. They are yapping and making plans from the second their eyes open. It’s amazing. I always wonder if I was that way at one point in my life. I certainly don’t remember it… 😉

    1. I can’t ever remember being that way – getting up was always a chore! But yes, I do know what you mean – that instant alertness that the younger crowd are capable of. Sometimes I think that I might even be envious! 🙂

  8. LOL! Great post! I’m so not a morning but my husband is; he sometimes sings and I look at him and say, seriously? I really need my coffee in the morning too – otherwise I’m totally useless.

    I think there are a lot of cliches and sayings about how morning people are successful, etc. So not true or based on any real evidence. xxoo

    1. I don’t know if I could take a partner who sings in the morning!

      Yup, I think there are a lot of cliches about it too – something about finding worms and stuff like that, but I’m quite happy to go looking for the more nocturnal creatures! 🙂

  9. Reblogged this on An Upturned Soul and commented:
    This is a post which I can relate to in oh so many ways… do not wake me up until I am ready to do so unless you want to get bitten by a feral human. Human bites are more infectious than animal bites, especially feral human bites. Just saying… I haven’t actually bitten anyone – sort of lying about that but I was a small child then and they were an annoying adult who couldn’t take a hint – but I have fantasised about it and wanted to follow through on the fantasy. But, you know, we’re all in this crazy thing called life on Earth together… yadda yadda.
    If you’re a night owl, say ‘Hoooo’ or something and check out this lovely blogger and explore the archives, there be treasures.

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  13. Well, I was trying to refrain from making any comments as I worked my way through your archives, as I don’t want to force you to contemplate things you haven’t even looked at in years, but I can’t help it on this one. Love it, especially this phrase: “It ain’t about you, morning lark.” Killed me.

  14. Apologies from a morning person. I used to be a night owl, until the wee ones came along. I was at the office at 6 AM most mornings, so I could be home by 5 and see the bubbies before they trundled off to bed. This habit, has unfortunately stayed with me, even though my bubbies are long grown and moved away. Oh, well, here I sit reading blogs with my bucket of coffee……Allan

    1. I fly airplanes and was in the military too and got pretty used to working at all hours, but the minute I’m on holidays or a break, I flip back. It’s like some sort of natural setpoint that my body just won’t give up!

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