Time for a Change

So I’m thinking of changing the title of my blog.

When I first started this project, all I wanted to do was throw my voice into the growing chorus of warning about narcissists and the damage they can do to the rest of us. And I intend to keep posting about that topic.

But I also find that more and more, I want to post about other things – as you’ve probably noticed.

It’s interesting how this blog has changed since I started it – it has almost taken on a life of its own, something that I think is a good sign of growth and moving on – a very suitable notion for spring.

And I have moved on. I no longer feel the intense urgency to write about narcissism that I did in the beginning. I have crossed a Rubicon of sorts – I’m no longer inside the box but outside, having a peek, grateful that I’m no longer trapped in there. In the light – a much better place to be.

In tandem with this is the fact that I have a wonderful relationship with M, that we’re making plans together, that despite the crap, one can have a perfectly ordinary, perfectly good life again.

Yes, I was married to a narcissist. And I lived through it, even though there were days when I seriously thought I was losing my mind. It’s not an exaggeration to say that I felt like I was in hell.

I’m still cleaning up the financial mess that he left me with and I will be doing that for a while, but M is also helping me.

There are times when I still wish that I had never laid eyes on him, but then I remember how much I have learned, and I would never want to give that up, in spite of how much it cost me.

But I’ve moved on and my blog title should, too.

Any suggestions? πŸ™‚

26 thoughts on “Time for a Change”

        1. True, but you’re communicating with someone who lives in a seriously hockey-mad country (and my partner adores English football)! I really like your suggestion – thanks! πŸ™‚

  1. Oh, this is so amazing. I don’t have any suggestions, but the simple fact of desiring to change the title shows just how far you have moved on! I love it! Sometimes we are changing so much, we don’t realize it and then there is an AHA moment and we realize the past is in the past. So happy for you πŸ™‚

  2. Oh wow congratulations on your progression and the want to move forward… YES YES there is more to you, more that we need to know, more you have to share.. ok I’m a tinny bit excited. Hmm a title
    The love of Art ?(d’Arty) I bare no Cross? or Simply Time for a change? You shall pick what is right for you, I have thought of changing mine..but I ramble and I’m a mum…so pfft I’l stick to it. So pleased and looking forward to the new YOU! xx

    1. Thanks so much for your support and your suggestions and your enthusiasm, Rambly! πŸ™‚ I have to comment that I really don’t see you as rambling – maybe you should reconsider?

      1. H, now you have me thinking…suggestions? and err does that mean I have to create a whole new site? I’m a fuzzy when it comes to all this technology nonsense 😦 xx

        1. Actually, it’s not hard at all. You just go to your dashboard, then “settings”, and then “general.” The “site title” window will come up and then you can change it. After that, just press “update.” It will take a few minutes for the change to load and then you’re finished! πŸ™‚ As to suggestions – let me think about it and I’m also going to take at look at your site for ideas. Right now, the only title that’s coming to mind is “Ink-Stained Mum,” but I’m hoping for more inspiration! πŸ™‚

  3. I’m new here but I can’t wait to read up on your blog!! My husband isn’t a narcissist (he has his own set of issues, LOL) but my friend’s husband is…and coping with it regularly is sooo difficult for her. I’d love to read what someone who lived through it and came out the other side thinks. Nice to meet you and thanks for sharing!

    1. Gosh – sorry to hear about her situation. A head’s up – if she decides that she wants a life again she will have to leave him or force him out, a pretty daunting task but completely worth it in the end. She will need lots of support from her friends and family. Unfortunately, narcissists are extremely entrenched and even more difficult to treat, if at all. Good luck and thanks for the follow πŸ™‚

  4. Just letting you know I have nominated you for a Liebster Award – thanks for sharing your experiences about being with a narcissistic partner.

    It is pretty cool looking at the world from the other side of narcissistic abuse… I’m still at the “Oh! Oh! And I’ve noticed they do this, too!” stage a fair bit of the time, but at least there’s no real pain where I’m at anymore. Or cognitive dissonnance about who/what I was dealing with (and thoughts of rekindling a friendship with the narc or whatever). And who would have thought we could actually find these people as sources of amusement from time to time?

    Anyway, keep on blogging and enjoy the extra traffic!


    1. Thanks for the nomination, Janice! I don’t really accept awards but I will post your nominees – and you – on my blog so that the word is passed around.

      It is cool to be on the other side and I very much believe that once you can see the humour in them you’re well on your way to owning your life again. πŸ™‚

  5. We are thrilled that you’re moving on. Many can relate to your experiences and how kind of you to help them. It’s also interesting how a blog, which we started as sort of a diversion, can take on its own life, too. Looking forward to keeping up with your posts, LMA

  6. Time for a Change sounds like a great title. I know the kind of hell you’re talking about living in. There are very much times when I wish I never had any association with a narcissist. It helps greatly knowing others have shared the experience and I wasn’t just losing my mind as this narcissist wanted me to believe.

    1. They are so terribly, terribly damaged but have no idea that they are, so they try to get rid of their hurt by dumping it on others.

      It is good to know that you aren’t alone, and also that you aren’t losing your mind – such a staple of the narcissist’s bag of tricks. Glad you’re okay. πŸ™‚

      1. Yes. They have many tricks in that bag. Wish I knew more of them before than after. But I will move on. Glad you’re okay, too πŸ™‚ Have a great night!

  7. How fun to read the genesis of your blog’s name. ‘Back of the net’–didn’t know that one. This is a perfect reference for where you now are in life.

    1. Thank you very much for taking the time to go back to this old post, Jacqui, and also for your very kind words. Things have changed so much since then (mostly for the better). β€œBack of the net” refers to a soccer ball or hockey puck going into the net very firmly and all the way to the back of it. Unquestionably a goal!

      1. I can’t imagine what you went through, commend you for the strength to get out of it, and am thrilled life seems so much better (to judge by your current posts).

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