So I was noodling, mulling over how I was going to fashion part two on “being” Canadian, when Barack Obama put his size twelve tootsies into his mouth, both at the same time, and provided me with the perfect fodder.
It seems that while giving a speech on Israeli/Palestine relations, Mr. Obama compared the two warring nations (question – Is Palestine now considered to be a nation?) to Canada and the U.S. What he meant was that Canada and the U.S. sometimes disagree about things but that we eventually figure it out without resorting to violence, and that Israel and Palestine should get over themselves and do the same. What it sounded like was that we are at each other’s throats and that Toronto is Baghdad‘s sister city.
Twitter is beside itself with glee. The twittersphere is busy
twitting, sorry, tweeting, about a movement called #TheCanucksAreComing. Sounds like a bowel movement to me.
Some of the comments are really funny. Some are just plain stupid. Some are using this incident as an
excuse, oops, forum, to complain about Quebec.
Remember my comments from part one about how we can be smug and arrogant and have a self-esteem issue all at the same time? Well, some people might say that this goes a long way to proving it. The Canucks Are Coming?? In what way, exactly? According to the
twits, sorry, twitterers? tweeters? it’s going to look something like this (with my respects to the originators of these comments, I have taken some liberties and made some twits, er, tweaks):
Washington will need a wash after it has been set awash in a sea of poutine. [Will we need a pipeline for this??]
All U.S. hockey players are part of a sleeper cell. [Especially Tampa Bay.]
We will change the alphabet from “eh” to “zed.” [And add an indiscriminate “u” tu euery wurd.]
The Americans will face maple syrup bottle projectiles as militants of the Canadian Intifada cross Lake Erie. [We will cross with the guidance of the ice road truckers except by dog sled. More authentic that way. Waiting for Lake Erie to freeze, however, might be like waiting for, well, hell to freeze over.]
Wayne Gretzky is an embedded spy. [Which is why his hockey team can’t get to the Stanley Cup.]
There were lots of other comments about Tim Horton’s coffee and burning down Washington, all of which give some insight into the Canadian psyche. While many were quite funny, they also had something of a scathing edge to them. A little hurt, maybe; maybe even a little bitter. A little bit pissed off that the U.S. doesn’t pay more attention or isn’t more respectful or doesn’t turn to us more often for advice or help. After all, we have all the answers!
And we also need to grow up about it, too.
What do you think?
- On Being Canadian, Part 1 (lynettedartycross.com)