To Accept an Award or not to Accept …

Liebster Blog Award
Liebster Blog Award (Photo credit: ObscuredDreamer)

I’ve been nominated for the “Liebster Award.” Twice. I’ve also been nominated for the “Versatile Blogger” award. I would be lying if I didn’t say that this made me feel all warm and smiley. It certainly did. All three times. However, I would also be lying if I said that I would be comfortable in accepting them. So, I just wind up in a real conundrum. I want to acknowledge and thank the people who have nominated me, but I also don’t want to jump through the hoops of acceptance and put up the badges, either.

If I have it correctly, the “Liebster” works like this (the “Versatile Blogger” award is similar): if you’ve been nominated, you can nominate others who have less than 300 followers. They answer some questions about themselves and then they nominate others who have to answer new questions developed by the latest nominees. And on it goes. It reminds me a bit of a chain letter or chain e-mail.

I can see the advantages of participating. If you’re relatively new it spreads word of your blog around and may encourage people to take a look. This is tempting to me because my purpose is to get the word out, as widely as possible, about all those narcissists out there.

However, I wouldn’t be comfortable answering the questions and I definitely wouldn’t be comfortable displaying the badges. I don’t want to get too much into my personal life for obvious reasons. My ex-narcissist, like most narcissists, is volatile and vengeful. If he were able to verify the author of this blog, I’d be in trouble, even though I’ve also protected him. Not that he would get anywhere much, but he would probably try to sue me, something I could really do without. He’s about as litigious a person as you could ever come across – in fact I would say that if he’s anything to go by, it’s a characteristic of narcissism. For that reason, I’ve been careful to keep the identifying features to a minimum. I don’t want to say what I do for a living or where I graduated from high school or how many children I have.

There’s also the fact that I’m just not comfortable, generally, with sharing that sort of information or with displaying badges.  I would like to acknowledge, however, the people who have nominated me.

First of all, Project Southsea. He’s a good young writer with a wonderfully dry sense of humour who does manage to get himself into some interesting situations. I very much admire the fact that he’s willing to share these awkward experiences with the rest of us.

Secondly, there’s trophydaughter. She was very kind to nominate me and also offered to let me dump the rules! She’s dealing with a narcissistic mother and writes fluidly and candidly about the frustrations and difficulties of handling with that situation.

Thank you both. You honour me.

I also want to suggest an alternative to the blogging awards, however. Teeny Bikini, author of  The Jiggly Bits, passed this idea on to me, which is to nominate people for the WP Reader’s Choice Awards. You can nominate a favourite post – an excellent idea. And by the way, if you haven’t visited Teeny’s blog yet, you are really missing out. She’s funny and edgy and completely wonderful. Take a peek.

There are so many good writers, artists and poets on WP, and I really enjoy all the people on my reader, but here are some particular favourites, in no special order:

1. Narc Raiders – Betty does excellent commentary on narcissism.

2. the wind horse blog – Zen Doe’s writing is absolutely beautiful.

3. rarasaur – More beautiful writing, just for the pleasure of it.

4. One Old Sage Musings – thought-provoking and sage commentary.

5. Ned’s Blog – I can’t tell you how many times I’ve snorted coffee while reading Ned’s column.

6. Kimberly Harding – Kimberly’s artwork is powerful and visceral and yet it also communicates delicacy and humility .

7. Rule of Stupid  – I’ve “nominated” RoS before. If you haven’t taken a look yet, please do! RoS also did a similar post; I have to credit him with the idea for this one.

8. Ramblings from a Mum – Ramblings is kind, warm, gentle and quite a storyteller! Do take a look!

9. Scott Williams – Scott provides sensible, wise commentary on the stuff that can really make us nuts.

10. Planet Jan – Among other things, Jan has written excellent, well-researched pieces on narcissism.

It’s very difficult to choose from the people I follow, but there you are. I hope you find one or two whom you can really enjoy!

How do you feel about awards?

19 thoughts on “To Accept an Award or not to Accept …”

  1. Thank you for mentioning the wind horse blog. I’m honored. Funny, I came to read your post because I feel the same way about awards. I’m honored and it makes me feel great, but it’s a little uncomfortable. And, as much as I might want to shout from the rooftops who I am and what my favorite snack is, I can’t. My narcissistic mother is still alive, and I can’t risk her knowing that I blog about my recovery from her. sigh… Congratulations to you though – it’s well earned! 🙂

    1. Thank you, Zen! Yes, being thought of in that way is pretty great, but like you, I can’t go there. I hope that your recovery is going well. I, at least, was able to divorce my narcissist.

  2. Thank you so much for mentioning my blog. I really appreciate it. As you know, I enjoy your writings and I share some of your issues/concerns about awards. I’m basically a shy person when it comes to such things. I’d much rather have a friend like you who is a constant reader of my blog and is willing to provide me with sound advice and a steady readership than have an award on my site. It may be crazy but although it would be nice to have a thousand readers, how do you stay true to them and yourself.

    Anyway,thanks again for the mention. That actually means more to me than any of the awards.


  3. Congrats on your achievement. I completely understand the reasons why you would not wish to have such attention drawn to you…nonetheless, it is something you should be proud of as I am sure you are…I thank you for the “shout out.” I believe each of us who commit to our blogs whether followed by thousands or just a few here and there make such an incredible difference…my heart goes out to the recently mauled…I remember how dark, lonely, desolate but most important frightening…not so much for the very legitimate and obvious reasons, but because the thought that you are one thread shy of losing your mind and not sure if you’ll ever come back…is worth sticking it out…each of us in our own way make such a difference in ways we might not realize and so I say to you “CHEERS” for you have done your part to make the world a better place in the universal ‘love’ you are manifesting by your actions…

    1. Thank you for your very lovely comments, Betty. My ex-narcissist certainly put me through that stage where I thought I was losing my mind. I managed to pull myself out of it pretty quickly, but my, it was bad. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Again, thanks for your comments and your support – very much appreciated.

  4. I come over to you and give you a big hug, firstly for mentioning me, for I think that is a very kind gesture and I thank you dearly, secondly for your honesty about Awards. I think you know my thoughts, but for those that read and follow you I say this…. Awards are hard work, we all know it, we have questions to answer, links to make, awards to be copied and pasted. If the process was made a little simpler then we would probably enjoy them more. I partially accept – in that I thank the person for bestowing the Award and then post their nominees, so that my followers will have the opportunity to see other writers whom they may not know of. I do not think there is any narcissistic about excepting them. We have been honoured by another for what we do, this is not self gratification or patting ourselves on the back, this is purely acceptance of a job well done by people like us who blog/write for the pure enjoyment of it all. Thank you Lyn for saying such sweet words about me – very much appreciated. 🙂 xxx

    1. * Delighted to receive hug! * You are very welcome. I have noticed you doing the “partial accept” and I think that your idea of posting the nominees is a good one. I don’t think that there’s anything narcissistic about accepting them either, I just can’t expose myself too much and there’s also the fact that I’m just not comfortable with it. It is nice to be nominated, though, no denying it. Thanks so much for your comments; you deserve the compliment.

  5. First, you are completely awesome. Thank you. But second, thank you for putting into words whatI have been thinking about for a while. It’s really hard to say thank you but no thank you… but you said it perfectly 🙂 Congrats. Your blog spreads valuable information about an important topic. Great work. And well-deserved. I have lots of respect for ya! Cheers.

  6. I’ve been surfing online more than 4 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all webmasters and bloggers made good content as you did, the web will be a lot more useful than ever before.

    1. Thank you. 🙂 I’m more open now. Back when I wrote this piece, I was still experiencing the occasional nightmare that I was with my ex-narcissist. He is still watching for me though, and tracked me down about 18 months ago through an online reference. Even though I’ve loosened up a bit, I still have to be vigilant.

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