Top Ten Signs That You’re Living with a Narcissist

Carson as Carnac the Magnificent, one of his m... Carson as Carnac the Magnificent, one of his most well known routines (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Since this is the time of year for top ten lists, here’s mine, with my respects to the late Johnny Carson.

 In reverse order, here are the top ten signs that you’re living with a narcissist:

10. While driving, he constantly looks at himself in the rear view mirror. This has resulted in a lot of rear ends.

9. His “bragging wall” now covers the entire house.

8. He’s always singing “I’m too Sexy for My Shirt,” even though there’s a picture of himself on his shirt.

7. You’ve taken to using an oxygen tank as he sucks up all the air in the room.

6. He’s in the Guinness World Book for the greatest number of cosmetic procedures ever performed on a single human.

5. He’s looking into starting his own country and you’re helping him to find an abandoned, isolated island for the purpose.

4. All the mirrors in your house have greasy spots from his nose and lips.

3. He admires the evil queen from Snow White and wants to steal her looking-glass.

2. He believes that Christopher Hitchens is much too mild-mannered for debate and that really, he could beat him in ten minutes, if Hitch was still alive, that is.

And the number one sign that you’re living with a narcissist:

1. Donald Trump is his hero but really, if he were “The Donald,” he would have been much better at it and would have made more money.

And that’s it, dear readers. I wish everyone a Happy New Year and all the best for 2013!

31 thoughts on “Top Ten Signs That You’re Living with a Narcissist”

    1. My feelings exactly. When you think about it, their full-time preoccupation with themselves is pretty funny – if only they didn’t involve others in their crap.

  1. LOL! Love #4; N friends consistently were looking at themselves in the mirror.

  2. U Know what, my narcissist changed!! she has become the best person ever!!! i hope her narcissist behaviours have changed forever, do u think this wil last? or will it go away for sometime and comeback later on again??

    1. I would say that you should be very cautious. Narcissists are extremely difficult to treat, if not impossible. They are very good at putting on a show for a short while, however. Sorry to have disappointing news 😦

      1. no problm! anywys right now it is my last month in college, i won’tbe seeing her much after my exams! 🙂

    1. Many thanks, Betty! I’ve been “making merry,” so that is why my response has been delayed. I don’t accept awards but I will publish your list so that it is further circulated.

      1. Completely understood Lynette, I’m glad you’ve been otherwise engaged in the “Merry”…thank you for posting the list, it is much appreciated. Wishing you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.

  3. Its such as you read my thoughts! You seem to understand a lot about this,
    like you wrote the guide in it or something. I feel that you simply could
    do with some p.c. to drive the message home a
    bit, however instead of that, this is fantastic blog. A fantastic
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  4. Hilarious! The last guy I dated was obsessed with his looks…always talking about the clothes he was wearing…It didn’t bother me in the beginning…But then all of the other signs of his narcissism came to the surface and it got really exhausting

    1. Thank you! 🙂

      Narcissists are often obsessed with their looks. My ex-narcissist wanted me to pay for plastic surgery for him – he had already had a couple of procedures that I suspect had been paid for by previous women in his life. I refused to pay, but he kept pushing for it. He also loved expensive clothes. Of course, it was all an attempt to feel better about himself and to feel superior to others.

      1. Oh wow…how sad that he wanted others to pay for it. The narcissist I dated never seemed to consider plastic surgery…But he was obsessed with buying clothes and was always trying to get me to compliment him on them. At one point I started suspecting that he kept obessing about his looks because he had to compensate for the fact that he didn’t get ahead in life, being stuck in shitty jobs and completely planless about his future

        1. You are probably right that he was compensating by obsessing about clothes and appearance. This allows narcissists to think that they are superior and can also feed their need for attention. One of their mottos is “If you don’t have it, convince people that you do.Then you don’t have to worry that all these others might be better than you.” Strange logic, I know, but that’s how they roll.

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